So I just watched this Young Americans vid and it got me thinking about the show (shitty Dawson's Creek rip-off, I was bored and the boys were pretty) and one plot in particular.

It's an all-boy school. Though it has a sister school just across the way. But anyway...
Jake is a girl who disguises herself as a boy to attend said school (don't ask). Hamilton is actually a boy. They become friends. Eventually Jake kisses Hamilton, then runs away, then later Hamilton kisses Jake and promptly freaks out about being gay, at which point Jake reveals her femininity. And in the last ep we have "they're together!" "It's OK, Jake's a girl." Implying that it wouldn't be OK if Jake was actually a boy.

It's not simply the implied homophobia that annoys me about that, but also the fact that it would be a far stronger storyline if they were both boys. True, it would invalidate a large portion of Jake's generic angst, but surely the angst of battling against ingrained self-perception etc - though that would be more H than J. But they could really have made it an issue. Not to mention the fact that H just looks gay.

Of course, if I'd written it, H would be gay and thus end up not actually wanting J when it turned out she was a girl.


And I really need to stop procrastinating.
Am back in St Andrews, back on 'nando, thank the little fishies...

Took the longer bus back here (which took, like, three-and-a-half hours, but I could have got off really near my house if not for having to go into town anyway so staying on bus until bus station and walking through town and... uh, yeah) and re-read most of Good Omens and ficced a little...

Am annoyed at progress of fic, though, because I started doing this tiny GO vignette. And then my brain starts talking, telling me that Crowley may or may not have eyelashes but they won't be good ones because he has snake eyes for crying out loud, and that the line I was going to use is a really stupid thing to say, and that Aziraphale wouldn't do that because he's a bit of a bastard really and if he started to do something consciously nice for Crowley he'd stop himself because they're "enemies" and... grr! And it's starting to possibly form a bit of a plot, which is a really weird experience for me, so, oh well.

And of course, at a time when I should be studying my little heart out, my brain is actively ficcing in three different fandoms. *kills self* (not really)

Oh. And the other thing making me pout - and this is a few days old, mind, so this is major. My short hair, which I thought was quite punk and butch and a teeny bit scary, is, according to both of my sisters, cute and fuzzy. *pout*
guys are now in process of "gettin' it on"

guy who was previously freaking out has now given a semi-expert blow-job

other guy has revealed traumatic sexual history

am considering counting cliches to keep myself occupied

*rolls eyes*
oh god, I'm supposed to be revising and I just took a short break to read a story which turned out to be a series and it's pissing me off but I have to read the whole thing now...

and this isn't some deeply-considered essay. This is:

I am reading a fic.
The main character from the show has sex with *shock* *horror* another man.
Said main character is physically sick and feels such reactions as guilt, shame, humiliation, "doubting manhood", etc, etc

Now, I understand that the realisation of a previously-unexplored facet of sexuality can be traumatic, and that given the character is an American man this trauma may be heightened. And I can see homophobia from other characters in the story as a realistic possible reaction. But...

I want to read slash, for christ's sake. I want to read about hot guys gettin' it on. And I've never been anything but open-minded on the subject of sexuality. So sitting here reading this... *thing*... where the guy is panicking and whining and totally freaking out about having had a blow-job from another man... just plain sucks.

and yes, okay, I did freak out about kissing a guy but I have extenuating circumstances, goddamnit, and I hid it while said guy was around, and I *told* him I was fucked in the head and did he believe me? no... check out the prescription, babe!
Krycek is not fluffy. In fact, X-Files and fluff just do not go together for me. I can maybe see Mulder being goofy-romantic, or someone doing that for him, but... fluff. honestly. no.

angsty, violent, screwed-up, conflicted, hate-filled, nefarious, psychotic, arrogant, caustic, sexy, rat-bastard, totally-fucking-mental - maybe. I don't like uber-evil Krycek. but... aargh. I'm reading M/K at the moment, and really. no.

as nostalgia just said, "he's innately fluffy. haven't you seen all those episodes where he kills people without a second thought?"

but that's excused because he was:
coerced into it by threats against his loved ones
protecting Mulder
getting revenge against the world for his rotten-childhood/rape/dead-lover/dead-father/whatever
defending the world
really on the good guys side
confused

so. yeah.

and this leads in beautifully to the Krycek cliches quiz ) which is very funny. but doesn't have a "look at all" so you have to sit and find them. you really do.

oh, and one other thing:
he has one arm! it happened! get used to it, people!

wait, sorry, my mistake. amputees can't be fluffy.
Aragorn/Boromir is not fluffy! I've seen too much happy stuff with them, and they're not! They're angsty. They're repressed desire, denial, "warrior bonds between men" or many other things, but the one thing they are not is fluffy. or happy. so I guess that's two things. But they're not either.

and Legolas/Gandalf is just sick and wrong.
excuse me while I do this...

IT'S FUCKING LOWER-CASE!

um, yeah. someone archived a fic of mine and had my name in capitals and... eech.
thankfully on Sonja Marie's links mine now says kbk instead of IndieGothChilde (I have it on my site, like, once, as opposed to the bit at the top of each fic which says "Author: kbk", so, huh?) - and I have 471 hits from there, which is, like, whoa! but... gah. aesthetically, I prefer lower-case. so there.

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June 2012

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