"Oh, Rose," he sighed, awash with post-coital bliss, "that's almost as good as when I had Jackie after Christmas dinner."

Rose shot up to a slightly more vertical position. "What? Oh." She settled back against her alien lover. "That's not funny."

"What isn't?"

"I know you didn't... do that because I was there all the time."

"No you weren't," he said, quite happily, "you and Mickey did the washing up, and meanwhile me and Jackie explored my new sexuality. I had to check I wasn't gay now, after all."

Rose was very upset about this, but the Doctor held her hand a lot so he clearly loved her, which made everything okay.

"Also," he added, slipping a hand between her thighs, "you're my mother."



Kill. Me. Now.