(no subject)

[kbk]

Fail at life. Am essentially nocturnal. Did not go to metalwork class even though it is a good thing and I had slept lots. Also I have a letter I have not opened yet.

It's hard to find the balance between the fear of doing things and the guilt of not doing them.

I am going to wait until the house is empty, then I am going to get caffeine, and tidy my room. For srs, u guyz! fr srs!

Comments

[edithmatilda.livejournal.com]

I am trying to unlearn the guilt at not doing things. I find that when I can do that a bit it helps me actually realise that I want to do things.

Last therapy session next week OMG! I feel all twittery and strange!

Gloom =/= fail. Gloom = no fun and rubbish but that is different. Yes.

[kbk]

Generally the apathy supercedes the guilt, but only until I notice it.

Meh. It's the ruts of thought again. If I can think about it the right way, it's fine, but the ruts go a different way.

[edithmatilda.livejournal.com]

And the ruts are pretty ingrained so trying to make thoughts flow elsewhere is essentially uphill. I totally need further therapy once this lot finishes next week, but therapist is right that I possibly need something that is not supposed to be direct and focused because I am very rambly indeed. But therapy helps with the ruts I find. A bit. It's just annoyingly slow and hard. Grr.

*internet hugs and shall have to stop being broke so I can do real hugs*