kbk

So, some stuff has happened - not a great deal, but some, still, and anyway.

I signed up to do a craft fair, and then it got postponed to last weekend because of a fire at the venue, and hardly any customers came, and I sold one keyring, which doesn't even cover my bus fare, and I tweaked my knee carrying all my shit home again. But I am giving them another chance and doing their next fair in about a month and if that is crap then I will stop throwing good money after bad.

My bank account is looking a bit unhappy as I have been spending more money than usual lately - with the craft fair, getting in a bunch of stuff to work on, and a few random bits and pieces, and also with yarn, of course. My stash is increasing because whenever I want something for a specific pattern I seem to wind up buying other stuff as well. I have been knitting a variety of baby stuff - oh, hey! reading back I see that I have not actually posted about that.

My sister is pregnant, due in a little over two months. It is the first spawn of the next generation, so it is all rather exciting and as I say, I have been knitting a bunch of stuff. She was down for work last weekend and has quite the bump, and I have just about got past calling it a parasite.

Also I had one of those moments where you think of the perfect retort ten minutes too late, because she made a comment about me going grey - I have a visible sprinkling, which I find quite amusing, especially being the youngest, and with the whole thing about Katie Holmes going grey when she is like five years older than me and not as 'bad' - and what I should have said is that she'll obviously catch up once she has the kid.

Eh. Stuff.

Oh, and Key - where I go to do the furniture stuff - has lost its NHS funding, which is what pays for me and most of the other clients to go there. So that stops at the end of the year, and since there will only be a few folk still going unless they get a training contract or something, there's a decent chance the whole place will close down. Which sucks, because I like it and it's been really good for me, and... yeah.

Also I have a lump on my finger where I scratched it the other day, except I didn't think I broke the skin so I don't know why it has gone lumpy. Hopefully it will go away by itself but if it gets worse I am totally going to the doctor because it would suck if my finger fell off. Not that that's likely, but, well. Better safe than sorry.

I still exist, btw.

Christmas was pretty good - took the train up to sister's near Aberdeen, which was even prettier than usual due to snow, but the carriage had no heating. Anyway. That happened, and I finished her jumper at around 2a.m. on Christmas Day, and a box from a website with about five presents in didn't arrive until the 29th so I had to go to the shops on the 22nd and get replacements, and such. And I have not actually seen any family yet this year because when Dad came over the other day I was out. Um.

I had an edithmatilda for the New Year, that was nice. She brought me presents and made me tea.

On the way back from the shop this evening I saw a fox, it was in a garden and when I stopped to look at it, it just looked back at me for a second then got on with sniffing around the grass.

I have been writing bits of fic for Inception, half of which were written before I had even seen the damn film, and have created a sock-journal for it, because I am made of twitchiness.

Today I applied for a job with the help of a woman at Working Links. And I am guaranteed an interview. Which is vaguely terrifying but distant enough to be no more than that.

Oh! I am apparently dead! At the doctors last week, he tried to take my blood pressure - twice on the left arm, then once on the right, then he got another machine and tried again, and he got an error message each time, so clearly I am some kind of alien being. Or maybe I'm a wizard fucking up technology. That would really suck, actually, I get upset when my internet dies - it did that the other day because I'd accidentally hit the switch for the wireless adapter and I was really twitchy about it.

I am totally not procrastinating the next bit of my stupid WIP. Not at all.

I have curtains that block out the light! This is rather marvellous as I have streetlights right outside. I got the blackout material off ebay, picked it up from the house at the weekend (because I got it sent there by mistake through clicking through paypal too fast, sigh) and this morning I got up and I took the curtains down and I cut bits of material off the roll and then I took them all to Key and I sewed them together and it took like three hours but it got done. Also I now have a few metres spare blackout fabric. Anyone want?

I got a letter from the cooncil saying my housing benefit claim has been rejected because of a system error. I think it is that it is now a month since I first applied and no decision has been made, but that is because I don't have a doctor's letter yet, so once that arrives I will go to the office and go Argh at them.

Um. I'm pretty sure there was other stuff but nothing comes to mind, so.

ETA: I have done accumulated dishes, and put on a load of washing, and I was feeling all domestic and such and then I managed to dribble fruit tea all over the place. What's worse, it's pink. Sigh.

Today =/= my day.

I failed at getting up early enough to do anything in the daytime. I went to class, but I was late because I moronically missed my stop and then had to wait half an hour for the train back. I tried to do a couple of different things in class and thus did not finish anything, except I fixed a necklace for Maureen (and she was very impressed about it, btw).

And I just tipped about half a pint of water off my bedside table. My bedroom, btw, is full of crap. And also down there is the power block for my 'puter, and such things. So. I had to pick up a bunch of crap, and I binned some of it, which I guess is good, and I found the tweezers I lost a few weeks ago, and the CD I lost a few weeks before that. And a spider.

And while I was rushing out of the room to get tissue or something, I - not wearing jeans - got caught on the plate (where the doorknob catches, y'know the thing) by my knickers.

I would say I'm not planning on moving from my bed, but I was here when I knocked the glass over. So maybe I'll just go to sleep and hope tomorrow works out.

Something has happened - like a leak, or a short-circuit somewhere - which intermittently trips the circuit breaker for the sockets. Which is a bugger, because that's my computer and the internet server, which means I have to go downstairs and flip the switch back up and, y'know, do as much as I can before it flips down again (and I don't like doing it too often, because, y'know, there's a reason it's going down every so often).

Also, I have the sneezums. Sigh.

Fail at life. Am essentially nocturnal. Did not go to metalwork class even though it is a good thing and I had slept lots. Also I have a letter I have not opened yet.

It's hard to find the balance between the fear of doing things and the guilt of not doing them.

I am going to wait until the house is empty, then I am going to get caffeine, and tidy my room. For srs, u guyz! fr srs!

Argh. Bit of a hell-week, and all my own fault, as per usual. Started out failing to go to shops, get prescription, or do laundry - damn, am out of clean knickers. Gah. Anyway.

Wednesday was worst - I had an appointment with the psychiatrist, and it was goddamn cold so I didn't want to go out, and was running a bit late. At the bottom of the drive I slipped on ice and fell on my arse (to the left.) Then waited at the bus-stop for a good fifteen minutes before realising that, due to roadworks, the bus was not running along that road. Started down to the main road, and called dad, because he was off to do flat-stuff, and luckily he was in the house, so I went back so he could give me a lift, and carefully walked to the wall at the bottom of the drive, and at the very last icy step, SPLAT on my arse (to the right.) Then half-an-hour early at Dykebar, so wandered a bit - looked at boarded-up old buildings, and saw lots of birds, including a robin, and also a squirrel, which was cool. Then talked to man. Ugh. At one point he asked a seemingly innocuous question which left me crying uncontrollably. Then, of course, I got a lift back from dad and concentrated on doing up the bathroom instead of, I dunno, actually talking to him about anything.

Anyway, Thursday was recovery, but that's when I ran out of drugs, so Friday I was shivering in bed until five o'clock when I realised 'oh shit still have to go get prescription and they won't be open tomorrow' so I went down for tea and babbled a bit, and dad went and picked it up for me, for which I was of course grateful, but, but, argh. And this morning I was ready, I wanted to go, so of course he was looking for things, and stopping off at B&Q, and finally we got to the flat and the chemist on the ground floor and I got my drugs and that was good.

And I put filler in the holes in the walls and then I took the tiles off the top of the fireplace with hammer and chisel which was loud and lots of hitting things and that was good. Though I did hit myself a few times, and also slice a knuckle.

When I turned on 'nando he was not happy with me and wanted to do lots of terribly slow scanning things. The one good thing about the intermittent bollocksing of mine 'puter is that it lets me pick up a book once in a while. My birthday present from G (which I only got a few weeks ago, which is why it's still at the top of the pile) was Doctor Who: The Writer's Tale and she said her friend liked it despite not liking Rusty, and I'm finding the same thing, really. Interesting, to say the least; seeing the development of the Kylie episode, for example.

Also I have learned the alphabet in Braille. Optically, of course. Maybe I should try making dents in paper. Was it Jefferson or one of the other presidents who could read Braille? He could sit in a darkened theater and read. And his hands would stay warm under the blanket.

I just encountered another flaw in my room-cleaning-plan. Apart from the fact it's quite behind schedule, and I appear to have enough stuff to spread through the entire house, and such.

I don't like spiders. I'm not terrified, but I don't like them. And the first few I was more or less OK with, they were small and I could ignore them, but the latest was, um, rather large, by house spider standards, and. Yeah. And I don't know where it went, so I'm looking rather suspiciously at the stuff on my floor, which is a random pile which would provide a number of hiding places.

Um. Yeah. Eek. I'm taking a break and trying to forget. Or maybe I'll decamp for a while, there's a whole lot of stuff downstairs for sorting already. But what I really want to do before the parentals return is get everything out - up to and possibly including furniture - so I can hoover and try to plan out the re-installation of stuff a bit better. Of course, I'll probably end up shoving everything back willy-nilly anyway, but still.

Ugh. This was such a stupid idea, I was perfectly happy with my piles upon piles of crap. Or, y'know, not, but at least I didn't KNOW there were spiders.

Gah. Knitting something with six colours means *twelve* ends to weave in. Which kinda sucks. And the next wristband pattern - wait, no, next-but-one - has *seven* colours, hence *fourteen* ends, and I better get fond of weaving in fast or I might never actually finish anything.

Note to self: ...wait, what... oh, proper joins, I think that was going to be. And if I make, maybe, four designs, and then a shop on folksy, and I can just make them to order, because they take a few hours at most.

Today I went to IKEA with the eldest sororal unit and all I bought was biscuits and chocolate, and all she bought was the picture frame she went for and oven gloves (which she needed) so that is totally a win in the distraction stakes (though I did really like this clock... and hey, they make really cheap alarm clocks so you can smash them on bad mornings! awesomes!). Oh, we did sit in the restaurant and have cheesecake and strawberries but that doesn't count.

Now I am going to sleep. Once I wake up I will make my CV as good as I can and actually apply for jobs that I've been stalling on because I won't get them because they're too good, but if I don't even apply then I certainly won't get them so goddammit girlie get on it.

This morning I had a job interview. It did not go terribly but it did not go well and apparently lots of people applied so ho-hum whatever it was practice.

But really. "What personal qualities will you bring to the job?" must be hard enough for people that aren't clinically depressed with chronic low self-esteem.

Also I wore my 'good' shoes and now I have blisters. Again. And my leg still hurts from fucking up at climbing over a week ago. Gaaahhhhhhh hiss spit etc.

Um. Um? Hm.

I just got a sales call for injury cover. That was interesting. And of course it excludes dangerous sports, which would most likely include climbing, which is what hurt me, and it was only a little hurt which would not have got money anyway, and I managed to say No! which, go me!

I am bored and blah yet also awake. Maybe I should have a nap? Or I could play stupid games for a while, that would work.