kbk

The wind is high, and
Some great beast of the treetops
Roars its displeasure.


Bah. The weather is horrid, there are big puddles and my boots are not exactly watertight.

But now I am home and curled up under my duvet and I don't have to go out tomorrow. yayz.

I just freaked myself out.

As edithmatilda could tell you, I've been obsessing about cannibalism for a week or so now. It started with a crappy bit of fic in my head, and it has not quite reached book-buying stage, but I have been reading bits and pieces. (Actually, I was reading about serial killers a couple of weeks back - I forget why... no, I was reading wikipedia for QI and there was a link and so on. And I just finished knitting this hat which I saw a while back and thought was awesome. Still have to block it and sew bits, though.) Anyway, I'm fairly comfortable with my weirdness, morbidness, etc.

On the bus today, coming back from getting drugs (god, drugs! I ran out two days ago and yesterday was curled up in bed sweating ridiculously, and I managed to force myself to class but my inner thermostat was fucked, and then I ended up staying up all night so I would get drugs today) I started thinking about a story that starts, "The first time I knowingly ate human flesh..." and so when I got home I had to start writing it.

That's not what freaked me out. One of the other people is essentially my brother-in-law - not that you can tell from what's written, which is only about 400 words, but the one character point he has, yeah, that's where he came from - and I just implied that they later killed and ate him. And my POV character only comments on the loss of his cooking skills. Actually, the whole roast dinner is inspired by the meal we had at their house last weekend. (At the end of that visit, sister commented that I had "hardly said a word," which ties in with last post somewhat; but I was comfortably quiet, for most of it, just didn't really have anything to say, especially since I was already on the cannibal track.)

Anyways! Stuff, me, has been up and down, therapy has been happening and I hate it but that probably means it's working, progress on the flat is slow (but the other day I tidied what was hopefully the last big mess, a pile of dust and ash, and wound up with black snot), also I bought a Logic Puzzles magazine and have been obsessing over that somewhat. Had a 'talk' with parentals at the weekend which may or may not have helped; complained that dad said fuckall and got about two words out of him, that sort of thing.

Also Miriam gave me copies of "Murder Ballads" by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, which is my latest play-over-and-over-and-over, which probably is not leading to a brain full of sweetness and light, but it's such fun, especially "The Curse of Millhaven".

Anyway, I have achieved, I went out and I have made stuff and I have even written a little for the first time in aaaaaaages, so, go me! and now I shall sleep, if I can.

Yesterday I forgot to take my drugs. Also I am bleeding. And have been eating badly. So today was not particularly nice physically.

But I bought a laptop on ebay the other day and it arrives, which was exciting, and I don't know the network key so it is not online and so I wrote over 5000 words of fic this evening, which is a fair chunk of what I need by July, so go me. Maybe I will not get internet for that 'puter till I am done writing a first draft, because it distracts me so. Then again. It possibly needs a new battery. And I didn't realise it had a trackstick, which I'm not hugely keen on, but it's livable. And it wasn't partic'lrly 'spensive.

Shadow Unit are having their season finale this week, and I am getting quite excited about it. Also, I can read that website at the office, because it isn't obviously a forbidden site (as livejournal is, poo) so I read the first two installments when I was supposed to be working, which was bad of me but immensely satisfying (and the stuff I was doing was boring as all hell, so, y'know). If you haven't been reading it, it is... hang on. "A mystery/suspense show, a cop show, a profiler show--but with a science-fictional problem at its heart." I like it a lot. Also a few of the characters have ljs, which is oddly satisfying (but I spent an entire weekend reading through the backlog, so beware time-suck).

God. I really need to tidy my room, and do laundry, and I have a whole lot of wool so I need to stop buying more, and, oh yeah. Today I completely failed to make the deadline for a job application, by sitting here for hours on end reading fic. I am made of self-sabotage, clearly. Which sucks. And I have failed to call my advisor-woman for yet another week. and and and argh. But! 5000 words! win!

Coughs and sneezles spread diseazles! (I have been increasingly phlegmy for the last few days, and now am sneezy also. Boo hiss.) (Also, where is that from? Is it Thomas the Tank Engine, or something?)

Today I got called out of my hole to bake something because my great-aunt was coming over for tea. Which was actually surprisingly tolerable.

I have had a ver' busy week, as have started volunteering thing. The work is not boring; the subject matter is fairly interesting, that is, but the adding-associated-people etc, not so much, especially because I have to click through about four screens to do so. Still. On Wed I was doing listed buildings and I learned strange words: a bridge was described in the listing as having "putlog holes" and "stugged rusticated voussoirs" and other such things; the gazetteer description, which I got to write, was more along the lines of "three arches, sandstone" and a smattering of history. (Oh, but it inspired me to go play freerice some more - the levels go past fifty now! it's quite exciting!)

Also I got to go down and wander the stores three times already. I have to go with someone, but it's still fun, and I ran across one of my favourite things from the old Kelvingrove, which is a woodwind instrument called a 'serpent' because it's like a big long recorder but bent so it's only torso-length, and I went "ooh ooh lookit" except not quite, but nearly.

And I've just about worked out the timing of the buses. And I'm going to go tomorrow and get a zonecard, because I've also worked out that. Annnnd.

Oh yes, I have a fic, which I wrote then actually got betaed but then remembered why I don't do that because I'm now scared of it. But I'll do that tomorrow, too, and I'll post it, so there.

And last Sunday was the choir concert, which went fine, and I wore a bowtie, which was fun, except paternal has lost his one which actually ties so it was just velcro which is not as good.

And I have been indulging in strange obsessions again - because I'm procrastinating that fic, and the huge fic, and stuff - and investigating crafty things (and I bought a set of knitting needles. So I guess I'm going to knit stuff. And I now know the difference between English and Continental and can do both, until I forget how, which will probably be soon.) and also green houses - straw bales and Earthships and earthbags, which were new to me and I'm actually quite impressed by, because you just shovel dirt into strong bags - like sandbags - and make them square and use them as bricks. So I think that's the new dream-home, for now. Not that it'll ever happen, but it's fun to think about.

I washed myself. I put a bad wrong DW snippet on my site, which was comments for nostalgia_lj out of evil. I re-read all my SGA and SPN fic (and this is horribly egotistic of me, but I adore Hospitality probably more than is healthy given how dark it is - it makes me shiver even though I wrote the bastard. It's one of the few things I've written that I think I would have left feedback for (I utterly suck at feedback-giving, most days, and very occasionally find myself sugar-high and over-compensating.) It's one of those things that makes me think, hey, I really can do this shit.) and some things from recs.

I really really need a writing icon. I have been looking for images but not finding any. Argh, etc.

Now I am going to sleep and after that I will go to see a nostalgia_lj and there will be Ten! omfgyay!

ETA: Icon is a bit of a poem by Rebecca Elson. I like her stuff. Maybe I will type up some of her stuff in violation of copyright because it is good but costs money.

I have a headache. And I went to the shops and got rained on. And I want to sleep lots, so I may actually go to bed fairly soon, but then again possibly not, and huge guilt for not having started studying, and I was supposed to get up in order to make a call (urgh. phones) and...

nostalgia_lj commented on the lack of post-apocalyptic BtVS fic, and that reminded me of a little snippet I wrote at least a year ago so I dug that out and put another line on the end to round it off and here it is:

( snippet )

Damn, I miss writing. I just... don't seem to have the facility for it at the moment. It's because I have a ficathon thing overdue, and the last chapter of SE still waiting pre-sugarquill-posting-revision, and... I dunno, I just. don't seem to be inspired, atm.

Enough with the self-pity, going to take some paracetamol.

nostalgia_lj said: "Chris Carter/Brannon-Braga RPS! I'm so gonna write that!"

One projected line is: "yeah, I don't understand my show either."

We have to hold her to that.

"you write stuff for fandoms you haven't even fucking seen!"
"oh, there's a boy in that one and a boy in that one, they can fuck"

I don't do that. Do I?

Hooray for procrastination. Or not. Because I'm at home and getting nagged to study and wondering why I decided to stay home this summer. Oh fuckweasels.

New house is nice enough, though, and have decided am going to spend much time in the loft, as it's been converted into a room with a pull-down ladder, so I can go up there and take the stick up with me and pull up the ladder and then nobody can come up unless I allow it. And the parentals said I could decorate it, so, joy.

Um. I think that's all. Oh. Wait.

Wrote a little fic. But for yet another fandom - Daria. Fandom whore...

I know I shouldn't be criticising professionals. But I'm sitting reading my way through scripts for Sports Night.

And there's this teeny bit of word choice which I don't like at all. And hey, I'm editing this for spoilers even though it's for the middle of the first season of a defunct show. So. Y'know.

REMINDER: THIS EPISODE WILL AIR WELL BEFORE
THE "___" EPISODE, IN WHICH male A, male B AND female C
HAVE ALL SLEPT TOGETHER IN VARIOUS COMBINATIONS.

The word "various" is my problem here, because all the combinations I'm seeing are AB, AC, BC, and ABC. Now, in my world, four doesn't really amount to various. But since this is the kind of show it is, the only valid pairings are AC and BC. Two possible combinations. Two is in no way denoted by various. Various, to me at least, has the same sort of connotations as several. Definitely more than two.

It was just that I looked at it and I immediately caught that the slash pairing was inherently wrong. So. Oops.

It's just that I'd been a little busy with the Aaron-Sorkin-worship and that jolted me out of it and into hysterical laughter.

And I'm just gonna go keep reading now.