Apr. 22nd, 2005

Breathe. Eat the ice-cream. Breathe some more. Take the drugs. Keep breathing. Don't touch the blade. Keep breathing.

Kirsten is going to Oxford. Jill is going to Atlanta. Jenny is going to Wisconsin. They are condemning themselves to another year (at least) of academia while you will be doing Good Works in Exotic Places (cross fingers touch wood etc).

The ice-cream is very nice.

You had a good time at the ball. You were complimented on your dress at least three times. And your boots. You danced a lot. You touched more people than you have since your last ceilidh. You met a nice girl whom you will never see again. You danced. You didn't throw your glass onto the dance floor when the slow-dance happened ("Don't Wanna Close My Eyes", wtf? grr.) You smiled and laughed and initiated conversations. You had fun.

You're talking to yourself in second person in a public forum and you're probably going to feel sick once you finish the tub, but who gives a shit about that?
Stop talking about suicide. You are not that fucking selfish.

Go to bed. Go to sleep. Now.

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kbk

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