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Jun. 18th, 2003 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kbkThe fic I wrote last night - I left it to see if it needed work, but I don't think it does, or, at least, while it could be a lot better than it is, my sitting looking at it and getting totally frustrated trying to improve it won't help, and there's nothing I can see that glaringly needs fixed. So. Fic.
And it took me about as long to find a title, lame as it is, as it did to write the whole thing. So.
Title: Love, Hope, Faith
Author: kbk
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, I make no money.
Notes: I was reading angst in another fandom, and I needed an outlet for it along the way, and I've been wanting to write Sisko-fic, so this is the result.
I never asked for this.
I had some hopes for my future, I will admit, but godhood was not among them. I wanted to do well in Starfleet - I thought I might manage another two or three promotions before I retired, depending on interstellar politics and how soon I managed to get a more prestigious command. I wanted to see my son grow into a man I could be proud of - he is my hope and my legacy, and I have seen him grow but to me, he is still so very young. I had thought of relationships - I hoped I might find a companion for my quieter years, someone with whom I could share my home and my life.
And then I fell down the rabbit hole. Wormhole. No matter.
And all of a sudden I was a figure of myth to the people of the planet I was supposed to protect. They would either gawp at me or be unable to look at me from sheer awe. I didn't know what to do! I was never meant to be a symbol! I am a Starfleet officer and I do what is right insofar as it is possible but I am only one man. How can I bear the responsibility of an entire people?
But I persevered. I set it to one side, as best I could, immersing myself in the business of the station, the new duties we were taking on at the gateway to the Gamma Quadrant, in getting to know the people serving with me and in caring for my son. From time to time something would happen that I had to deal with as The Emissary instead of Commander Sisko, but it was more a role that I played than anything else. I was a father first and an officer second with religious posery a distant third, if that.
But things just kept getting more complicated. There was more fighting to be done - and I never wanted to be a soldier, but even more so I would defend against the darkness - and there was wrangling among the theologians and somehow in the middle of it all my son set me up with a beautiful woman and I fell in love.
All those responsibilities pulling me in different directions, and sometimes I would favour one and sometimes I would favour another and sometimes most of them coincided but most of the time I wasn't that lucky.
Yet now I am relieved of my burdens, I see them for the privileges they were. My wonderful, talented son, who will mature and grow well, I am sure of it. My beautiful Kasidy, and our child who may never really know me. The people I had the honour to command and to fight beside. Even those overawed Bajorans to whom I was a tangible symbol of their faith.
The Prophets have their own ways, strange ways, and I know I ought to feel honoured and awed to be set among them. But all I can think is...
I never asked for this.
And it took me about as long to find a title, lame as it is, as it did to write the whole thing. So.
Title: Love, Hope, Faith
Author: kbk
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, I make no money.
Notes: I was reading angst in another fandom, and I needed an outlet for it along the way, and I've been wanting to write Sisko-fic, so this is the result.
I never asked for this.
I had some hopes for my future, I will admit, but godhood was not among them. I wanted to do well in Starfleet - I thought I might manage another two or three promotions before I retired, depending on interstellar politics and how soon I managed to get a more prestigious command. I wanted to see my son grow into a man I could be proud of - he is my hope and my legacy, and I have seen him grow but to me, he is still so very young. I had thought of relationships - I hoped I might find a companion for my quieter years, someone with whom I could share my home and my life.
And then I fell down the rabbit hole. Wormhole. No matter.
And all of a sudden I was a figure of myth to the people of the planet I was supposed to protect. They would either gawp at me or be unable to look at me from sheer awe. I didn't know what to do! I was never meant to be a symbol! I am a Starfleet officer and I do what is right insofar as it is possible but I am only one man. How can I bear the responsibility of an entire people?
But I persevered. I set it to one side, as best I could, immersing myself in the business of the station, the new duties we were taking on at the gateway to the Gamma Quadrant, in getting to know the people serving with me and in caring for my son. From time to time something would happen that I had to deal with as The Emissary instead of Commander Sisko, but it was more a role that I played than anything else. I was a father first and an officer second with religious posery a distant third, if that.
But things just kept getting more complicated. There was more fighting to be done - and I never wanted to be a soldier, but even more so I would defend against the darkness - and there was wrangling among the theologians and somehow in the middle of it all my son set me up with a beautiful woman and I fell in love.
All those responsibilities pulling me in different directions, and sometimes I would favour one and sometimes I would favour another and sometimes most of them coincided but most of the time I wasn't that lucky.
Yet now I am relieved of my burdens, I see them for the privileges they were. My wonderful, talented son, who will mature and grow well, I am sure of it. My beautiful Kasidy, and our child who may never really know me. The people I had the honour to command and to fight beside. Even those overawed Bajorans to whom I was a tangible symbol of their faith.
The Prophets have their own ways, strange ways, and I know I ought to feel honoured and awed to be set among them. But all I can think is...
I never asked for this.
