(no subject)

[kbk]

They... they just... they had the episode of Sentinel with Alex Barnes and the, the, fountain and paramedics and... I was sitting squealing in disbelief and upset even though I knew what was going to happen and know what happens after and have known all that for some time because I read fic of it quite early in my fic-reading career but... but... eeeeee! and, and, and.... *gasps in upset* aahhhh!! and ow! and, and eeeeee!

I didn't know it was Jeri Ryan playing Alex, though.

And I'd forgotten that Blair's "spirit animal" was a wolf, which, given that yesterday I wrote that thing with Jim comparing him to a dog, is... um, dunno, oddly appropriate, in that, turn it around and domesticate.

Still, um, slept all day, paternal was annoyed, am still feelin a bit off and loaded on more metal than normal and...

can't breathe, need music

have switched off chimes on clock

why do I have to deal with being alive? with, with, people and money and things and, and, heart and guts and all the messy bits inside. and. grr.

can't. stop. shaking/itching/not-breathing. except that's all lies and I'd be fine if I just decided to be but I don't want to be and oh fuck I need music because they're talking