(no subject)
Jan. 22nd, 2005 10:58 pmI got up earlier because I felt a bit sick but then I curled up in bed again and it was nice.
And now I have been pulled out of bed by a realisation of one of my issues.
I don't want to leave St A's.
Ask me, I'll say, "of course I want out!" But that's lies. Or, um, wrong, anyway, because I've lievd here for years and I know how everything works and it's just comfortable. So I'm fucking things up so I have to repeat. But I'm not gonna repeat. I'm gonna leave any which way I can.
And whatever I do will not be comfortable, it will be new and scary, so why don't I bugger off to the ends of the earth?
And now I have been pulled out of bed by a realisation of one of my issues.
I don't want to leave St A's.
Ask me, I'll say, "of course I want out!" But that's lies. Or, um, wrong, anyway, because I've lievd here for years and I know how everything works and it's just comfortable. So I'm fucking things up so I have to repeat. But I'm not gonna repeat. I'm gonna leave any which way I can.
And whatever I do will not be comfortable, it will be new and scary, so why don't I bugger off to the ends of the earth?
no subject
Date: 2005-01-26 02:57 am (UTC)Ack. Still scary. But I'm gonna do it.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-26 01:43 pm (UTC)I know the link probably peaks curiosity, but it is your choice whether to follow it or not.